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Talking Film – Twilight Saga: New Moon

December 17, 2009

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In this new series pilot, Oy and I discuss the crime against lycanthropy that is New Moon.

As always, your comments are appreciated, but they are especially important in pilot episodes like this one.

Please enjoy and share!

  1. December 17, 2009 6:00 am

    Man, I’ve heard a lot about the Twilight saga and sucking a lot together, but, like many things, unless I saw it for myself, or heard someone else say that it sucks, I can’t really agree with it. But the funny thing is, a lot of the people who’ve written articles on anything Twilight have so much of the same comments on it. Random plot, unexplained parts of the story, etc., where it seems that Stephanie Meyer was writing this as a first story to see if she would gain anything out of it. From what it sounds like, it makes Twilight sound like it fits around the same area on the Bad-o-Meter as the “first TF story” which you find lying around on deviantArt here and there.

    Your review on this movie made me laugh, even though you were talking about a book series about vampires who sparkle. My favorite part of the review had to be the “Face Punch” thing. Man, if they didn’t come up with that for a humorous aspect of the movie, then I fear where the human race is going.


  2. Jovian permalink
    December 17, 2009 6:04 am

    ahaha. I’m actually surprised you guys did this one, since it’s so horribad.


  3. December 17, 2009 5:20 pm

    I don’t even need to listen to this to know how bad the film is.

  4. GrayJaeger permalink
    December 17, 2009 5:52 pm

    Plus, the wolves are… AS BIG AS BEARS?! WTF?!… Other than that (and the rest of the movie), the Face Punch thing was pretty funny.

    “Put your gun down or I’ll blow your face off!”

    “Put your gun down or I’ll blow your face off!” (Other Guy)

    “Put both your guns down or I’ll blow both your faces off!” (New Guy)


    • D.Dragon permalink*
      December 17, 2009 7:14 pm

      I didn’t have a big problem with how huge the wolves are, since they’re dealing with supernatural situations already, a bigass wolf is kinda cool.

  5. Rockario permalink
    December 17, 2009 9:18 pm

    ‘Face Punch’? Seriously?

    Great job on the slide show part, I wish you luck in you screenplay search.
    I had a strong feeling that this movie would suck, and now that I have a bit of a idea of the actual plot I can safely say I shall avoid this movie like the plaugue. I forget who it was (might of been you guys), but I heard someone say that the movie’s popularity was only because it was like soft-core porn for teenage girls (the vampire’s SPARKLE?!?).

    Anyway, thank you

  6. Biffiea permalink
    December 18, 2009 7:46 am

    You know, I think I’d like to see face punch. With a title that awful it has to be awesome, and filled with slow mo punches… to the face!!!!!!

    Still, you two did a great job with this, and hearing you two making fun of a bad film was very fun. If you do more of them, I’d be happy to give them a listen.

  7. December 20, 2009 8:57 am

    Everything is wrong in that series. Total bad fanfiction that managed to pass the quality barrier, which everyone wonder HOW.

    The author just invented her own monsters, then labeled them with know creature just to act cool. But sorry, philanthropist animal blood drinking and sparkling under the sun humanoid AREN’T vampire. Nor pedophile bear-wolf shapeshifters are werewolf (see the synopsis of the 4th book when Jacob fall in love with a baby…)

    But everything in that series is wrong. The woman beater romance, the Deus Ex machina events, the illogical decision and their result (C-section performed with vampire teeth?!), stud being the entire cast… I mean, you’re a werewolf, you’re going to fight for dominance as an alpha so you’re going to have at least some scar. But nope, all the werewolf have perfect, glittering body without a single scar. Even wolverine couldn’t heal that much.

    Nope. Twilight is NOT worth seeing, not even for the pisspoor transformation, which can’t even be called sequence since it’s last for only 10 frames or so. Pretty poor. Bring a real werewolf transformation and Twilight may start to be worth seeing. And even so…

  8. ironhorse permalink
    December 20, 2009 6:25 pm

    Thankfully I never saw it as I heard there was a werewolf/vampire baseball game to determine who gets the girl or something. I expect the next one to have some sort of dance competition where they stop the yard.

  9. Wordswart permalink
    December 22, 2009 8:17 pm

    The entire movie was a *Facepunch*

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